Pressured men – Is Alpha Beta?
Written by chameleonfridays on August 10th, 2008What women want is a debate that will rage on, I fear, forever. While trying to be superwomen, it seems women are still demanding that men are equally ‘super’. We now want a new man (even newer than the old new, ahem).
Dr Pam Spurr writes for MSN. We women desperately need to rethink the type of man we want. Not only are we a bit confused about whether we want a sensitive ‘New Man’ or an old-fashioned ‘Alpha Male, Man’s Man’ (or, to be honest, any point in between because we’re so fussy!) that the poor chaps are getting confused themselves!
Many women have come to think that their ideal man is a Hugh Grant type – a bit sensitive, endearing and kind of irresistible. But why is he so irresistible? Because we think he needs his personality dragged out of him. And in our fantasy worlds we flatter ourselves that we’re the one to do it.
He can be sensitive as long as he’s a success
New research has shown that this Hugh Grant type (that’s a bit self-deprecating) is indeed a success with us women. But (and here’s the rub) he can only be a success with us if he’s actually already successful when we meet him. Confused? You will be.
It’s like this: if he’s already achieved many things in his life, we don’t mind him being all sensitive and taking the p*** out of himself because underneath, we already know he has the qualities many of us still want in our men – success, confidence, and (dare we say it) the ‘alpha’ factor.
The trouble is, many of the men we now meet no longer have these qualities.
This leaves me thinking that the ‘New Man’ type we associate with Hugh isn’t what we really want at all, because deep down us women want to drag the tiger out of him. We believe Mr New Man is hiding a Real Man behind his sweet, but bumbling, facade.
I know from experience that many women don’t want a guy who is completely sensitive and emotional through-and-through. Lately, I’ve heard so many complaints along the lines of: Can’t he be a man and ask me out? Why do I have to do the chasing? Why am I always organising our dates? What happened to old-fashioned men? And so on.
