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Pressured men – Is Alpha Beta?

Sunday, August 10th, 2008
What women want is a debate that will rage on, I fear, forever. While trying to be superwomen, it seems women are still demanding that men are equally ‘super’. We now want a new man (even newer than the old new, ahem).
Alphamale
Dr Pam Spurr writes for MSN. We women desperately need to rethink the type of man we want. Not only are we a bit confused about whether we want a sensitive ‘New Man’ or an old-fashioned ‘Alpha Male, Man’s Man’ (or, to be honest, any point in between because we’re so fussy!) that the poor chaps are getting confused themselves!
Many women have come to think that their ideal man is a Hugh Grant type – a bit sensitive, endearing and kind of irresistible. But why is he so irresistible? Because we think he needs his personality dragged out of him. And in our fantasy worlds we flatter ourselves that we’re the one to do it.
He can be sensitive as long as he’s a success

New research has shown that this Hugh Grant type (that’s a bit self-deprecating) is indeed a success with us women. But (and here’s the rub) he can only be a success with us if he’s actually already successful when we meet him. Confused? You will be.
It’s like this: if he’s already achieved many things in his life, we don’t mind him being all sensitive and taking the p*** out of himself because underneath, we already know he has the qualities many of us still want in our men – success, confidence, and (dare we say it) the ‘alpha’ factor.
The trouble is, many of the men we now meet no longer have these qualities.
This leaves me thinking that the ‘New Man’ type we associate with Hugh isn’t what we really want at all, because deep down us women want to drag the tiger out of him. We believe Mr New Man is hiding a Real Man behind his sweet, but bumbling, facade.
I know from experience that many women don’t want a guy who is completely sensitive and emotional through-and-through. Lately, I’ve heard so many complaints along the lines of: Can’t he be a man and ask me out? Why do I have to do the chasing? Why am I always organising our dates? What happened to old-fashioned men? And so on.
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Pressured Men – Weaving tangled webs

Sunday, August 10th, 2008
While women are still trying to decide what they actually want, men are continuing to struggle with how to evolve into a modern attractive man.
How do men even begin to pursue women that are struggling to even meet the standards they set themselves. Let alone the long list of requirements from a ‘suitable’ partner. Lots of our clients seek dating advice, but what are the knock on effects of trying to be superwoman.
More importantly what damage does this do to men’s confidence, some taking dramatic steps to gain dating practice.
Pressuredmen
A new survey by Virgin found that one in ten British men between 18 and 40 added five thousand pounds to their salary, while 25% have lied about the size of their manhood. The following article written by Ben Faulk for MSN, titled ‘Why a man lies’ goes some way to explain…………..
Researchers concluded that men lie more impulsively than women, but added that one of the reasons for this is because the modern male is under more pressure than ever before in both his personal and professional life.
But is this true? Does lying work? Are women really impressed by faux tales of superlative salary, girth and length, especially when it’s so easy to be caught out?
“There’s two phases of male lying,” says Neil Strauss, author of The Game, the bestselling memoir of his year as a professional pick-up artist. “Courtship lying to get someone to like them and relationship lying to keep their girlfriend from leaving them.”
“Men are horrible liars,” he continues. “They usually get caught and if they don’t, it leads to a suspicion that lasts for the whole of the relationship. But I don’t think men lie because they are horrible people, they lie because they’re weak.”
“I think there’s more pressure on men,” adds Susan Quilliam, a relationship psychologist and author of Body Language Secrets. “There’s a much higher rate of male depression and suicide than there was. Because they are insecure, they will try and compensate by lying.”
The lengths some men go to put my tales of the Australian outback to shame. Strauss recalls “guys who got fake bank receipts that showed huge balances and when they gave someone their phone number, they’d ‘accidentally’ write it on the back of them”.
And actually, it’s all women’s fault anyway; with their rising pay packets and demand for equality. Us men still want to feel like we are cock of the walk and impress the ladies with our status and power, but the problem is, we are facing potential partners who are richer and more successful than us.
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